How Families Can Avoid Passing On Gender Stereotypes

The table needs clearing. If the same child always does it while everyone else talks, it is worth asking how that job was assigned. Gender expectations can be hidden in routines, just as they can be in the encouragement to try a sport or a warning to be careful.

Children differ in age, needs, interests and abilities. Those differences can guide fair decisions about toys and responsibilities. Everything need not be identical. The point is to leave each child opportunities to learn and participate, without gender setting the limits in advance.

Start with the expectations at home

Let the child who likes building build, and let the child who likes a doll care for it without being mocked. UNICEF’s parenting guidance recommends offering a range of activities and removing gender stereotypes from play. The point is to make interests available rather than sorting them into permitted groups.

A favorite color will not tell you the whole story. Look at what happens when a child tries an unexpected activity. Teasing or disapproval can teach them to stop before they have had a chance to explore it.

Adult language belongs in that check. A boy told never to cry, or a girl assumed unable to handle a practical task, hears a limit on what is allowed. Correcting a phrase can be brief; every conversation need not become a lecture.

Share the work and the time off

Assign household jobs by age, safety and what a child can reasonably do. Cooking, caring and tidying are not automatically girls’ work, any more than repairs and outdoor jobs are automatically boys’ work. Each can teach useful skills.

Count the work that may be easy to miss. A child with few listed chores might still spend time caring for someone every day. UNICEF’s work on unpaid household labor records unequal burdens on girls across countries. That evidence does not tell us that every individual family has the same arrangement.

Helping with an appropriate task is different from carrying a household’s needs at the expense of school, rest or play. Check both the responsibilities and the time left over, rather than judging fairness from a chore list alone.

Give encouragement fairly

Listen to what each child wants to learn. Notice who gets help with schoolwork, whose successes are praised and who gets time to practise something new. A tight family budget does not prevent adults from hearing everyone’s interests.

Include boys in that attention to fairness. Pressure to be tough or take risks can limit them too. Children should be able to ask for comfort or information without being told their feelings are wrong for their gender.

Revisit the routine

A specific change is easier to revisit than a promise to fix everything. Rotate suitable kitchen jobs, for example, or make time for each child’s chosen activity. Check back after a week or two and ask how the arrangement is working.

Adults set an example through their own work. Children see who cooks, earns, cleans and provides care. Sharing those jobs can teach something that a family meeting or explanation alone cannot.